|
Body Sense Depression/ Stress Drugs & Alcohol Kids & Parents Loss/Death Relationships Shopping Corner Trauma Weight Press room Professionals Home Contact Us |
Trust
Your Instincts
Trust
your instincts, even if others claim you are being over-protective. If your
child appears fearful of someone or some place, honor that by not forcing
your child to return to that place – if at all possible. Sometimes custody
agreements make that choice difficult, but seek legal assistance to enhance
your child's safety. Seek professional help to determine what is probably
causing the child’s behavior. Sometimes fear of one person or place is transferred
to another. For example, a child who is sexually or physically abused by a
male, may become suddenly afraid of his own father –- another male.That certainly
is a behavior that would merit immediate attention and intervention with a
professional who is well versed in working with children and trauma. It also
would signal the need for an immediate investigation by the parent or other
concerned adult. A healthy dad would be concerned about that, and allow this
child to have time to feel safe again. He'd also want to make sure his child
received immediate help. Below
are some symptoms that indicate your child may be having serious problems as
the result of some type of traumatic event, physical, sexual or emotional
abuse. Each
child is unique and may react with all or only a few of these symptoms. If things “just don’t seem right” with a child,
investigate. Professionals Who Know What They are Talking
About
Seek
professional counsel until you are satisfied. Not all professionals tend to
think these events cause as much damage as others. Its important to find licensed
mental health counselors who have substantial experience in working with trauma.
This author has worked with trauma survivors for years and has seen the immediate
effects in children, and potential for long-lasting impact on people's lives.
Adults who were abused as children often suffer through emotional and developmental
struggles without professional intervention. They may dissociate, have school
problems, negative relationships, problems with food and weight, use alcohol
or drugs, compulsively spend and more. They often develop an entire set of
negative core beliefs about themselves that dramatically effects their abilities
and satisfaction with life. For more information see dissociation,
PTSD, Weight, abuse, dissociation,
PTSD, abuse, Signs of abuse
1.
First and foremost, look for any changes in behavior.
Children react differently. The key is noting the difference in what their
behavior was. Be especially tuned in to extremes. 2.
Child becomes clingy, seems needy. 3.
Child begins to have problems in school. 4.
Teachers complain he/she is not paying attention. 5.
Child becomes aggressive 6.
Child becomes withdrawn 7.
Child becomes very quiet 8.
Child becomes hyperactive, or attention-seeking. 9.
The child may develop a fear of certain people, or places. For example, a young
child abused by a male, may suddenly become fearful of all males. 10.
Suicidal thoughts 11.
The child feels constantly jumpy, or on guard. 12.
The child has nightmares 13.
The child may appear to have no feelings, except anger. This is a method of
“becoming numb” or dissociating from the pain. 14.
Disturbing memories 15.
Sleep problems: not sleeping, sleeping too much, awakening in the night. 16
Headaches, stomach aches, nausea and other psychosomatic physical complaints. 17.
Acts fearful 18.
Excessive bathing, or poor hygiene 19.
Appears depressed 21.
Appears anxious (with children this is sometimes seen as being very needy,
fearful or hyperactive.) 22.
Becoming a discipline problem 23.
Emotional eating, restricting or not eating, very “picky eating" 24.
Hostility or aggression 25.
Withdrawal from friends, or activities 26.
Using drugs or alcohol. 27.
Bed wetting that is not medical in origin. 28.
Overly compliant, too well-mannered, too clean or too obedient to be considered
normal for that age. 29.
Forgetful 30.
Appears to dissociate, “space out,”
“not be able to pay attention”, short attention-span, inability to
focus. Sexual Abuse
Children
who have been victims of sexual abuse may (but not necessarily)also have the
following additional symptoms: 1.
Sexual play or acting out with other children, themselves, toys or pets. 2.
Hints about the abuse. 3.
Questions without identifying themselves as the victim. 4.
Displaying knowledge of sex beyond what is normal for their age; knowledge of
bizarre or sophisticated acts related to sex. 5.
Urinary infections, unusual discharges, unexplained pain, swelling or bleeding
of the mouth, genital or anal area; injuries to those areas; sexually
transmitted disease. 6.
Torn, stained or bloody underwear. See
sexual abuse for additional information
on how to help a child or family. Physical Abuse
Physical
abuse, or the threat of physical abuse which incites fear in a child, can
occur once or over a period of time and have dramatic negative effects on
self-esteem. Children who grow up in a home where they witness a parent or
another sibling being physically abused also suffer from that abuse. Fear
becomes an underlying feeling within the home. They also may suffer from emotional
effects of the abuse and fear, PTSD, or develop dissociation as a means to
cope with their own overwhelming feelings. As adults, these may become destructive,
such as alcohol or drug addiction, compulsive shopping or gambling, work addiction,
negative relationships and using food to alter moods. See also
Get the Past Off Your Plate,
Weight Gain and
Failed Diets Linked to Past Loss, Children
who have been victims of physical abuse may exhibit the symptoms above. They
may also exhibit the following: 1.
Bruises, scratches, redness, welts, cuts, fractures, burns or internal
injuries. 2.
You may notice different injuries over a period of time. 3.
The injuries are not consistent with the child or caretaker’s version of what
happened, nor are they consistent with the child’s developmental phase or age. 4.
They may cringe when touched. 5.
They may have a highly excitable startle response. 6.
They also may become very aggressive or withdrawn. 7.
They may become extremely compliant and eager to please, or they may become a
rebel and be perceived by outsiders as a troublemaker. 8.
Abuse may affect their ability to focus and organize, which could negatively
impact their abilities at school. 9.
When questioned, the child may act nervous, or recite by rote. The child may
say he/she forgot. 10.
Infants may display a vacant stare. 11.
Infants may have physical signs of abuse. They also may have internal injuries.
If you suspect your child is hurting, get professional help immediately. 12.
The child may seek affection inappropriately from people they know, people they
have just met or strangers. Brenda Crawford-Clark, LMHC, LMFT, NCC Author: Body Sense Balancing Your Weight and Emotions ©Copyright 2001 Brenda Crawford-Clark |
