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Ammunition to Beat Yourself
Yep! You read it right. There's a wealth of ways that you can make any day worse or make yourself feel more depressed or anxious at any given time. Pick any situation or moment in your life, and with a few choice thoughts, you can turn a lousy time into major depression, a bump in the road into a catastrophe or even clutter the happiest of times with worry, self doubt or feeling as if you don't deserve it.
Do you wanna stop? Take these words and phrases out of your vocabulary and you'll experience a dramatic drop in worry and depression. You might even make some room for joy.
It's hopeless (another way of saying "I'm hopeless")
It is all or nothing, all good or all bad.
If only he/she would… (Can you really control what another person does?)
I'll try (there's no final commitment to doing something)
I can't say what I mean because if I do it will hurt her feelings, or cause a MAJOR CONFLICT.
I hate him/her for making me feel this way. (Do you turn over the power of regulating your feelings to others?)
I can't do anything right.
You should !!!!!!!!
I can make them like me, I can make them respect me
If everyone does not want me as a friend, something is wrong with me. (Who said you want everyone as your friend.)
If I lost weight, my life would be better. (You may actually have trouble keeping weight off because of other things that make your life unhappy. Read "Burning Self-Talk Garbage" in Body Sense for more detailed information on that.)
I don't deserve anything good.
I have to be perfect
I can't do anything good enough.
Whew! That's enough to make anyone depressed. But the positive thing is that you can Un-depress Yourself, too!
Think for a moment. What other words do you use that can turn out your emotional lights in an instant?
For the remainder of the week, jot down each time you catch yourself beating yourself up, then step back and think about other ways to look at each situation. Would you be that discouraging to a friend? Can't you treat yourself as well?
©Copyright 2001 Brenda Crawford-Clark